Back?

Hello again. It's been a long long while. I couldn't sleep again, as I haven't been able to many many nights. Work stress getting to me again.

I've been trying all sorts of new and old things, to get me out of my funk. Prayed a bit but haven't been to church regularly, but last time I went something miraculous happened so I'll try again tomorrow. I've also signed up for a few yoga classes. Been eating horribly unhealthy lately. I started a sewing hobby spending way too much at Joann's and trying at beginner stuff which has made me happy. Still, my spirits get low and I'm feeling my body and soul feeling sick.

This evening I thought of writing. Maybe it was the Lord of the Rings extended behind the scenes DVD I watched, I think it was. The idea that someone could make a living as an artist moving from project to project and living to share their gifts to the world, without selfish or practical thoughts such as owning and preventing copies to your work or having something full time and steady. Who says anything is truly steady anyway. Who says art shouldn't be shared, copied or collaborated on.

I don't post a lot of my photography or art online for fear of copying. Yet this also prevents from recognition, collaboration or that sense of art is not owned but shared and doesn't really belong to you anyway. Life and art should be shared, not hoarded. It's there to inspire and create a catharsis as someone I know would say.

I think to keep my soul alight, my fire burning, I have to write and learn to share myself and my art with the world.  I thought of starting a new blog called "The Pursuit of Happiness" with me trying for that stuff, instead I'll just continue what I have here. It's weird but whenever things are rough I tend to turn all hermit, going inside myself trying to protect myself and figure it out - my turtle phases. I think I'm supposed to learn how to not do that. I'm guessing?

So that's that. I may be super thoughtful & write diligently for a few months, than disappear again. Maybe that's all I need, this seasonal change. Just trying to make it through.

It's already helping, this writing stuff. Where have you been writer K? Nice to feel like you again.