Anyway - instead, I have to vent about my first day back at work. Overall it was a good day. Only one incident happened while I was gone, and it was such a stupid preventable incident. It was just my team being lazy and irresponsible while I was gone. So I have to lay down the law tomorrow and sort of turn into a bitch, or the scary un-fun boss. Yeay.
I hate this. I hate this part of my job. It's the worst part of my job. The part where I have to tell people I respect, admire and trust, that they have lost my respect, admiration and trust. The part where I have to berate them, professionally, about not doing their job. Really? Really?
So I had to spend some time writing, and thinking, and planning, what to say to them tomorrow. I've had to spend time and energy on something that, is not fun.
So yes, I get practice, woooo, miserable.
I guess it will be good, because this is the first time I'm laying down the law and sort of calling them out and I've got to be really good about it. I'm basically establishing my alpha and they've been kind of whiney and bitchy lately, so it's a good chance to establish my dominance. Laying down the law.
Still.... why is it so stressful? It's probably because it's the first time I've ever really had to lay down the law in an unfriendly way. I suppose this would come around eventually. I should take comfort in that? Maybe this is good? Is this my happy positive overly optimistic self coming through, yup. But it's also partly true. Did I really expect they would never F up or that I would never have to deal with this type of situation. I guess I can look at it as a positive experience. Try to make it a positive/better experience. It's stressful because everything that happens changes the group dynamic and I need to make sure that people remain happy workers still doing what I tell them, yet also at the same time scolding them? huh? How to do that?
I have a coworker I love chatting with after work, because this person is a good person to talk to, but also because I feel like they give good advice and they've got a really good head on their shoulders. Talking out this issue with him was helpful but also helped me process some of this stuff. Talking with husband is good too and blogging is good. This is me practicing sharing and really sharing my stresses. Usually I bottle this and figure it out on my own. Maybe I need more input and help on this stuff. Maybe I should talk more to other people who know how to do this and to just do it.
There is no manual for being a good boss. There's not even a training program. Most of the time it's just, hey, you're great at your job, let's promote you and let you manage people, even though you may not be really ready for it, but I guess you learn on the job.
So anyway, that's it. I'm starting a category called "The Joys of Management" unfortunately. Maybe i'll post some good stories too. Usually though, a lot of times I sort of hate the stuff I have to do. It's a lot of people managing and politics. Learning new skills. Keep thinking of job as a training ground for better things. Also, overall, despite the bumps in the road, overall we are doing pretty well. But don't let them know that.
