Won't you be my neighbor?

It's odd, but in the past few months of living in our condo, we've had some bad things happen but I've had my faith renewed and restored by meeting some very nice people, our neighbors. Not every neighbor is a gem. There are some young college kids across the way that smoke outside and talk loudly, so that can get annoying. There's another family down the way that has their TV on loud sometimes and we have some non-friendly non-chatty neighbors, but overall people have been very nice and it seems like the kind of neighborhood everyone looks out for each other.

We met our downstairs neighbor one week after living in our new place. She leaves a nice note on our door, saying her bathroom is leaking water and she believes it's coming from our place and could we check it out and get it fixed. This was very upsetting and not good news as we were still stressed from the move and settling in. I got defensive about the leak and also very worried about the extent of the cost of fixing, repairing and who was really obligated to pay for the repair.

Anyway a plumber came in, verified it was our leak causing her drip and he fixed it with very little pain or cost. I was thrilled I was just overreacting. Our neighbor was a darling, a sweetheart, and was like "so sorry to bother you guys with this leak, especially just moving in new. I'll take you out to dinner once this is all done". We were like "we're sorry you have to deal with a leak in your bathroom, we should take you out". She could have been so much more annoying, snippy and threatening about the leak, but she wasn't, she was perfectly nice about it. We had such a nice time getting it all figured out, that after it was done we took her out to dinner, and had a good time getting to know her and hanging out. She's still really cool and we hang out once in awhile.

Now just recently, we met 3 more neighbors and here's how. In our new condo, we have a shared garage. It's separate from our house, and it's a 4 car garage with 2 doors. So we have one car parked there and we share with 3 other neighbors. It's small but overall manageable arrangement.

So we recently went on a weekend trip and got home late on a Sunday night. On Monday morning as we're pulling the car out of the garage, I notice that my husband's red mountain bike was missing/stolen. His passenger automatic window was also not working which makes me suspect that whoever stole his bike also tried to break into the car but was unsuccessful. Anyway this was very upsetting least to say. I felt vulnerable, vandalized and lost my faith in people.

So we decided to leave a note to our 3 other garage neighbors. The note said we had our bike stolen from our shared garage, we're going to report it, asking for info, please check/safeguard your things, and please be sure to make sure the garage is closed when you're leaving for the day, and hope none of your stuff was stolen and a generally overall friendly but sad letter. Anyway we ended up talking to all 3 of our neighbors. They were all very nice and very sympathetic about what happened. They reported back immediately that they didn't see anything and they weren't missing anything, but they will be much more cautious from now on. We also got to know each other a little more through some friendly short chatter.

Anyway, we do live in a nice neighborhood where this sort of thing doesn't happen and people feel safe, and so we concluded it must be some teenage kids off for the summer totally causing trouble. Odd thing is the thief stole my husband's mountain bike and left mine, which is I guess, not a total loss. One of the neighbors was like, if I see a kid riding around on a red mountain bike I'll quiz him, tackle him if need be and take the bike back for you. Very sweet.

Anyway, I'm not a silver lining person, but I can't help seeing it now. Two unfortunate incidents, brought us closer to the people around us. We're very lucky because overall our neighbors are nice. After something as bad as a inter-condo leak and a theft, they were all kind and sympathetic and wanting to help and make things better. Of course no one likes when things go wrong, but in a weird way, it's made me get to know my neighbors and made me like them a lot. No one was intrusive, pushy or obnoxious. They were all descent and unexpectedly nice. I expect the worst of people and things sometimes, and it's nice to be wrong in those cases.

And the last thing is, one of our neighbors is an older retired teacher, super friendly, chatty and just a nice guy. He's one of those people you feel lightened after just saying hi. It's just cool being around someone who is sincerely, that cool. He's totally our "Mr. Rogers" and yes we live in his neighborhood.

So anyway, I toast to my new neighbors. I hope we always have descent and nice people living next to us. I thank the universe for having known them. I hope one day we won't need a leak or a theft to knock on their doors and get to know them.

Growing

All my life, I traveled a lot. I switched between parents and they both moved and lived in different places quite frequently. For a long time now, I've sort of felt like a nomad. But, I could easily say that the past 2 years have been the most tumultuous, crazy, stressful and bumpy of my life. I left a prestigious, well paying, highly stressful job for a personal sabbatical of traveling and reflection in 2007. 2007 and 2008 were filled with adventures and mis-adventures throughout California, Asia and Europe. Reconnected with family and tried to re-prioritize what was really important. 2008-2009 There were job/career issues (still are), and a move back home with relatives because of the economy. In 2009 there was a sickness, a death and my own major medical emergency and surgery - the worst moment of my life so far. Along with this, we had an engagement and a wedding to plan and execute. Early 2010 we were focusing on buying a home, a small condo, but a place to finally call our own.

Now, mid 2010, moved into our new home and somewhat recovering from 2009, slowly feeling more like myself again, I finally feel like I can get back to normal - pre-2007 - but with all the wisdom and experience. I'm feeling more like myself day by day. We're out of our parents' homes, we're on our own, we're not making much money, but we're learning to live with less and slowly trying to build our own lives.

All of this made me think of, how important it was to have a place to grow. People, like plants, need a place to establish themselves. Somewhere rooted from which to climb toward the light. I've been feeling more rooted lately, a nice change. The beginnings were rough. Oh, but this could be the start of something good, don't you agree?

Follow Through - Gavin DeGraw
Oh, this is the start of something good
Don't you agree?
I haven't felt like this in so many moons
You know what I mean?
And we can build through this destruction
As we are standing on our feet

Mis-Matched

Our condo has a few quirks that are worth sharing. Mainly mismatching that I find charming. I actually hate anything that matches too much. If husband and I accidentally wear the same colors, we will joke about it and then promptly change if possible. For the most part, I believe there's good in variety and it adds spice to life.

After we moved in, we noticed that with some doors, one doorknob is silver and the other one is gold. It's kinda cool and bizarre actually. Our kitchen cabinet knobs are also a variation of gold and silver. Reminds me of the Girl Scout rhyme "Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold".



Not so cute mismatches - some of our bathroom tiles are old and some are new. The old ones are hidden behind the master bathroom, so we didn't notice it til we started cleaning.

We bought a lot of black furniture - barstools, bookcases and couch. A lot of our old furniture is brown. We have a brown dining table, and we got cheap black Ikea chairs with red cushions. We also have a black couch and brown coffee table. I actually love the mismatched look of it.

So overall, just a commentary on matching. Just because things are different, doesn't mean they don't match up :)

Home

Home is a place we all must find, child. It's not just a place where you eat or sleep. Home is knowing. Knowing your mind, knowing your heart, knowing your courage. If we know ourselves, we're always home, anywhere.

Glinda the Good - The Wiz

Judy Garland Quote

Always be a first rate version of yourself, instead of second rate version of someone else.
- Judy Garland

Introduce Yourself

"Pick one room and make it yours. Go slowly through the house. Be polite, introduce yourself, so it can introduce itself to you." This is one of my favorite quotes from "Under the Tuscan Sun".

Lately, that's what it's been like with the condo. Been feeling overwhelmed with fixing up the entire place, even though it's such a small area. So take baby steps, small moves and slowly but surely the place will start to feel more like home.

Unfortunately, it's bringing me more stress than relaxation. I find it's not feeling homey or comforting, but rather, everything is not clean and nothing is in place. The walls are still bare white. The furniture is in but there are very few personal touches. We've been living under someone else's roof for so long, I think I've forgotten how to decorate a room or a place to make it your own.

The master bedroom, master bathroom and kitchen are the most settled in. Functionally it was very necessary to get these in shape very quickly. Spiritually, the place does not feel like home. I think this is the most disturbing. I'm still getting used to the noises, the quirks and they're not all cute or adorable. It's only been 2 weeks, but I've never taken this long to settle into a place. Perhaps it's time to really decorate, because it's the personal touches that make a place yours. Currently I feel like we're living in a model living room in Ikea.

So, it's not quite home yet, something's missing. I don't know what it is, but I hope it starts to feel more like home soon.

Fridge Follies

Another highlight/incident from moving day. We love our families, but sometimes planning is not always best and bodies are not at their prime. My father-in-law is in his 60s and isn't in the best shape. I was very concerned when he started huffing and puffing with some of our furniture, and I was very clear to him, and my mother (in her 50s) that they need to take it easy and not strain themselves, and let us younger ones do the heavy stuff. So father-in-law has the truck. Brother-in-law and husband and father-in-law all go to other house to get a fridge and bring it back. Our condo has a staircase to the main apartment on the 2nd floor. It's fine for large pieces of furniture, and manageable, but for a heavy large fridge, that staircase was a very scary place.

Guys like to be guys and like to think pushing objects and brute force will take care of things. I was like "how are you planning to get the fridge out of that corner in the stairwell?". Brother-in-law replied "we'll figure it out when we get up there". Mind you, fridge was LAST on the list of items to get that day, so we were moving it when everyone was worn out and tired from the day's moving. First mistake. Second - everyone helping us move was in the potential path of that fridge falling on them. Third - Thank God we had a Forearm Forklift strap to wrap around the Dolly to move it up, otherwise it would have been impossible to haul it up on the forklift. Fourth - Do not ask retired father-in-law to be one of the main people moving the fridge. Not that he wasn't a good guy or strong, he was very strong. But he started breathing very heavily, obviously straining himself and being crushed by weight or dolly at various times, and I just was not comfortable. And I do not think I was over-reacting.

I think part of the non-concern of everyone else, was the guy factor of "we can do this". I love them, but they need to realize that they shouldn't try to DIY with everything.

So I have some advice for moving large pieces of furniture or appliances. Try doing it in the beginning of your moving day, so all your strength and clear thinking can be used for the largest items. Only people under 40 should really be moving large pieces of furniture. Hire experienced movers or many strong men for large objects. Best yet, if you buy new they'll move it for you. Make sure you have the right tools and a sure gameplan. Using a fridge dolly and/or having a plan before moving up would have made a big difference. We used just a regular dolly and were like "we'll figure it out when we get up there", wasn't the best plan looking back.

After the fridge was moved, there were large scratches and scuffs in the wall and the floor. This may have upset me if I didn't see the whole fridge moving drama unfold. But, with everything that happened, I was just glad no one got hurt. I said a little prayer of Thanks, and will work on getting some touch-ups for the floor and wall. Makes you not sweat the small stuff and appreciate that everything was ok in the end. Be safe out there people!

Under Where?

We moved into our new condo last Saturday. Although I dreaded the amount of work involved in moving, I was also excited to be settling in.

We intended on sleeping-over Saturday night, but our moving plans were fairly ambitious and we didn't get everything done that we had hoped. So we went back to our original location to have dinner, shower and spend the night. There is nothing like showering after a long hard day of work, to find that after the shower, all your clean underwear was moved to the other house.

I sat on the bed in my towel after the shower, too exhausted to move, and very sad I did not have any clean clothes. Luckily I had a stash of clean stuff in a drawer that was left behind. The overly ambitious plans to move everything fail turned to win.

So some advice if you're ever moving and planning on sleeping over. Pack an overnight camping bag or backpack when you're moving. If you can, pack a week's worth of toiletries and necessities, and keep it with you whichever house you go to. Sort of an emergency pack. Luckily our condo and old house was a very short drive away, but it would suck if you found yourself 30 miles away from all your clean underwear and your toothbrush. Buying new from stores are an expensive and not so convenient alternative.

A place to call home

Recently we've been condo hunting - first time home buyers. That's one reason why I haven't blogged at all lately. On April 15 tax day, we closed and finally got a place to call our own. So much goes into a home buying process, and below are some thoughts on the process.

Paperwork: Get ready to read, sign, scan and send more paperwork than you really ever wanted to. The closing documents we signed with a notary was 80 plus pages. That doesn't include all the other documents we had to sign and send before, including the offers, loan approval documents, escrow papers, forms and etc. I read through most of them and tried to get a basic understanding, as I hate signing things I don't understand. Luckily in California home buying goes through Escrow, and we don't have to have lawyers like some other states.

People: We worked with 4 parties - Realtor, Seller, Lender and Escrow. Here's how it worked. We worked a lot with Realtor and Lender. Then we all worked the Seller. Then all 3, plus us, work with Escrow to get everything submitted and finished before closing. I must say - if you ever buy a home, try to make sure everyone you work with is awesome. Our realtor and lender people were fantastic. The seller was on top of her stuff too. Escrow was a bit disorganized but overall came through in the end. Our realtor also worked with the HOA of our new condo - and our new HOA people were fast to reply and quick to act in fixing things, so that made everything work really well. Overall, we were also quick to respond and accessible. So with everyone working together and accessible at all times, it made it a very easy and smooth process to go through. I highly recommend you get great people to be on your team for home buying. You can't always choose them, but if you get them on your side that's really helpful.

Decisions: The other most stressful part is deciding. Deciding location, deciding unit, deciding square footage, renovations, etc. What are you ok with and what are you not ok with. Husband and I had long discussions over what we needed and wanted. We were torn in choosing great units in not so great locations, and great location and a not so great unit.

During our home hunt, we found that we have a lot of the same preferences, Thank Goodness, and it made shopping and deciding a lot easier. Good and bad thing is, we saw a LOT of places we liked. We often got beat-out on time or money for bids, and didn't actually get the first places we bid for. Competition with other buyers was there, even though this was a buyer's market.

Our realtor suggested an 80/20 satisfaction factor. We should be 80% ok/like a place, and 20% compromise. Luckily, I'd say the place we ended up choosing was 90% like. It's got a great location. The area it's in is considered nice and well maintained. It's very close to the freeway, but we don't get freeway or street noise. It's next to amenities like church, grocery store, giant park for walking and overall a very safe and pretty neighborhood. Also there's a bowling alley, gas stations and small businesses within 5 minutes walking distance. It's a condo on the edge of housing development too, so it's not a sprawl of condos/apartments. We plan on getting dogs, so nice area to walk in was important, and safety was very important to me. Our area also has very highly rated schools, and although we don't have kids we know this is important in rent or resale.

The only issues I have, and still have with the place, is the amount of space and perhaps parking/yard. We have no real yard but a balcony and small front porch, and I really want to grow a garden. Also, parking is one half garage and one space outside. Not ideal, but ok. Overall it's got 2 bed 2 bath with only 900 sq feet, which are small rooms by my standards and small closets - Ack! But in the essence of "living with less", we're going to do our best to get rid of non-essentials and live in a smaller space.

Advice: Father-in-Law said this "You will always have buyer's remorse for any place you buy. It's such a huge purchase, and you will always be second-guessing your decision that there might be another place that's better." He didn't give a solution to this problem, just stated that this is most likely to happen. Unfortunately, part of me is always wondering "is there something better out there" and is worried about our decision and choice being the "best" one. But from what i've seen so far, and what i've looked at since, it seems like a good decision. Not the best one, not the greatest deal, just a good solid one.

I've also had a lot of anxiety over the actual place. I suppose it's because we haven't lived there yet, but it's not yet "home". Every day, more and more, it gives me the warm fuzzies, but a lot of times just anxiety. Then I figured out, it's because it's not home yet. We haven't moved in. We haven't made it ours yet. It takes a few months, even a few years, for a place to become home. For years now, I've been in this weird transition place with places. This is the first real permanent place I've had... ever. Every other place has been, "when we get a house", and now that we have one, it won't make all our dreams come true, but hopefully we'll make some of them come to life, and we'll make some great memories. I'm looking forward to making memories in this new place. I think our realtor's congratulations card said it all.

A house is made of walls and beams
A home is made of love and dreams

It's a little more sappy for my taste, but I do like the message. Looking forward to making memories and really making it ours.

And, I come back and think of this. Nothing's perfect. No place is perfect, just like no person is perfect. But you should fall in love anyway.

Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home.